Monday, December 5, 2011

In the midst of the storms, He is there!


I have spent the last week going over some of the writings that I did in the first year after my husband went home to be with the Lord.
It has been 30 mths, since he lost a seven year battle with melanoma.
Craig and I were married for 26 wonderful years and we had a marriage that was incredible.
I watched as he totally surrendered his life to serve his Lord until he took his last breath. He shared the love of Christ with everyone he met. Doctors, nurses, young people, elderly, friends and family. He never hesitated, never complained and always praised God for giving him another day.

I learned a lot from Craig. He left a legacy of love and big shoes to fill. As I look back over the past 2 1/2 years, I see how much I have grown and have become so much stronger in my faith.
I clearly  remember the day that he told me. " you have to let go of my hand and take hold of the Lord. You are now HIS bride. I am going home".  That was one of the hardest things to hear, but it was so important. I am still learning to hold His hand. It is hard at times, because He is not a physical being. He is my husband, but He cannot hold me like Craig did.

I wanted to share some of my earlier writings with you. This is a prayerthat I wrote six months after becoming a widow.


My Lord,

As my life unfolds in a way that I never in my worst nightmares imagined, I still sense your presence here. I know that you are here, and that you are speaking to me,  right here in the midst of the storm.
I often feel you right beside me while I am driving, talking softly to me. Why it is while I am driving, I have not figured out yet. But often I have to turn the radio off, so that I can hear you speak. No distractions, no interference. Perhaps, it is the only time that you can slow me down and have a captive audience.

I am scared Lord, afraid of what the future may hold for me. Perhaps I am even more afraid of what it may not hold. I am not afraid of dying, at times I would welcome that. That would be the easy way out, to end the pain and hurt. But you alone no the number of my days. What I am afraid of, is being alone, of having no one to love and call my own. I long so much for a mate Lord, someone who loves you and will serve you together with me. 
Lord, in the midst of all of this I  want so much to serve you. I want to be in the very centre of your will for my life and bring glory to you in everything that I say and do.
This is so hard right now. I don’t even know what you want me to do. The enemy is on my tail so hard and he knocks me off my feet at every corner.
I need your strength and protection Lord. You promised in your word, that you will protect me, as a widow. Show your power and your might, and keep the enemy far from me, that your glory may be revealed.
Help me to be honest and transparent in all that I do.  The enemy is full of lies and deceit and wants so much to drag me into that. Gird me about with your Belt of truth Lord. Make every word that comes from my mouth be tested first by the fire of your Holy Spirit.
If I cannot be honest, then do not allow me to speak.


Give me a passion for sharing the story of your love and redemption. Take away the fear that grips my very soul and give me a power and determination to speak with boldness about what you have done in my life.

Consume me with a sense of compassion and mercy, that comes only from being so close in your presence. There are so many in this world, that have it worse off than I do.
May I step up to the plate and share your love with those I come in contact with.
It is only through your power, strength and courage that I can do anything.
I surrender my will to you. Use me my Lord,  as you see fit.

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Battlefield of the Mind


   It has been a week of intense battle, mostly in my mind, which is where we fight the majority of our battles. If only we can learn to control our mind.
As it says in 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 

   If only I could remember this when the thoughts of loneliness, anger, lust, despair, etc... crowd my mind.

   Our lives are directed by our thoughts.  Therefore, it stands to reason that, if our thought-life is clean, pure, and honest, then  our actions and ultimately our results will be clean, pure, and honest.
 (Phil 4:8)  Another way to put it is “where our thought life goes there we will be also.”  

This takes training.  We are so used to letting our minds wander, very seldom realizing that we need to control them.  In 2 Cor. 10:5  (printed above)
   Paul admonishes us to take captive every thought.  Paul didn’t say, ”don’t think,” and he didn’t say, “to take captive some of your thoughts,” he said to take them captive--
all of them.  In other words, if a thought pops up in our head we must be conditioned enough to realize we had the thought and analyze the thought immediately.  Is this thought beneficial to God’s purpose or my own?  Is it destructive or selfish, does it encourage and build up, or does it degrade and/or tear down? 
We must decide what thought we have, take it captive if it’s not of good intentions, or free the good thought of encouragement to build up God’s Kingdom.  Remember acting upon that thought causes results that we will have to deal with later--whether good or bad.  We need to examine whether it is beneficial or non-beneficial to the kingdom.


    Paul did not say, “do not think,” he said to take our thoughts captive.   If we were to put a bird in a cage it would be in captivity and would be there until we free it.  If we were to leave the bird in the cage without ever feeding it, the bird would soon die.  It is the same with our thoughts.  If we feed a thought it will keep growing, sometimes out of control.  If the thought gets out of control that little thought can become destructive, not only to you but also to your family, friends, acquaintances, job and so on.  The thoughts may continue long enough that they become uncontrolled, creating bitterness, resentment, selfishness, anger, etc.  These out of control thoughts can result in unforgiveness and, ultimately, in sin.  

    A perfect example of this is to see someone of the opposite gender,  in my case a man.  He is very handsome and eye-catching.  My thought life has just been engaged and there is nothing wrong with that so far.  He is handsome and attractive, a creation of God, move on.  If I choose not to move on, that “thought” becomes a problem.  If I harbour that thought and feed that thought toward the man my thoughts can only turn from noble to self-gratifying thoughts, moving into  sin.  Depending on where you are in your walk with the Lord, depends on the standard for how far you will take your thoughts.  If your thought goes beyond, “he is a beautiful creation of God,” the thought is probably starting to wander off the noble path.  I’m not only talking sexual thoughts, but thoughts like, “I wonder how many much he works out?” or “I wonder what it would feel like to be held in those strong arms.” 
 
 If you are single, (or not) you may think “is he married, or spoken for?”  “Would he possibly care to get to know me?”  “What kind of woman is he attracted to?”  Your thought life could actually take that man or woman and put them into your life to the point that you are married with four perfect children, two girls and two boys, a perfect dog, and a perfect job.  All of this without you ever saying hello.  If you are married, that thought should not even enter your mind!  Women are not immune from this type of thought life at all.  How many women watch soaps, read romance novels, or talk to a girlfriend about their husband?  Your mind has been engaged and off you go.  STOP!  There is nothing of God in any of those thoughts.    

    I can easily speak on the example given, because I am once again a single woman, after losing my husband to cancer 3 yrs ago. As a single woman I have at times,d let my thoughts drift, feeding them and letting them go much further than they should.  Who would they hurt?  They’re just fun thoughts.  I thought they were fun thoughts, but God did not see anything but destruction in my life.  This is not the purpose God had intended for me.  I never had the nerve to walk up to the good looking man and introduce myself to him, but I certainly did in my mind, and then it was off to the races.



    I used myself and the total lack of control to suit my selfish desires, with total disregard for anyone else.  By my choice to travel down a sinful path, I gave birth to other sin in my life.  Simply, because of my failure to capture my thoughts and starve them to death.

    If we feed our thoughts about another man (or woman) eventually we will end up at the door step of adultery, making this man or woman something he/she probably is not, and putting our self in a sinful thought pattern, having to repent and ask for forgiveness.  Just think, it should not even have gotten that far, if only we had self control.  Proverbs 25:28--Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.    


    If we allow the lack of control to persist in our lives, the more desensitized we become making it easier to justify our thoughts giving birth to more thoughts of the same nature, going further and further each time.   Possibly one day taking action on that thought, causing results that will create more sin in our lives.  Possibly now having to deal with hurt, pain and destruction in your own life, as well as others, leading into a cycle of bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness all over again. 
   But now it has spread to others, causing pain and destruction in their lives--and the destruction spreads from there.  Just think all of this destruction because of one out of control thought.  It has now gone full circle, but now we have pulled someone else into that sinful life we have chosen to live.  Simply because of the choice we have made--not to take captive our thoughts, choosing to feed the thoughts we have, letting them grow, and possibly releasing them to do their destruction in someone else's life.  Our thoughts may never get this far at first, but keep feeding them, they will.
     
   
 Everyone who is reading this has their own experiences of how they struggle with their thoughts, maybe not to the degree that I illustrated, but sin is sin and an uncontrolled thought life will lead to sin, even into greater amounts of sin.

    I have used these examples simply because they are easy to relate to, but how about thoughts on lust, covetousness, jealousy, envy, anger, deceit, gossip, pride, and so on.  Are any of these profitable for our walk?  Do any of these build up, or just tear down?    

       This is what it means when Paul talks about the whole measure, Eph 4:12-13--to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

   
 God’s timing and your measure of faith set the guidelines to what God can, and will do with you at that time.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. “Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” (Jas 4:8)  Gaining the personal relationship that God so desires will take you to places your mind and thoughts could never take you on your own, but now it is actions not just thoughts.
  
    We need to serve Christ rather than our selfish desires.  We have the mind of Christ, it is up to us to receive the mind and use it for the benefit of His kingdom. "For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him?" But we have the mind of Christ. (1 Co 2:16)  


    The only way we will know His thoughts is through His word, and a personal 
relationship with Him, and realizing that it is not our understanding but His we are to lean on. In other words, not depending on anyone or anything except the Holy Spirit.
    
    I have heard too many times the phrase “the devil made me do it.“  Stop giving the devil so much credit. The devil may have tempted you but you chose to act.  A good rule of thumb is, “The devil can only take what you give him.”  So we need to set our thoughts on things above.   “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” (Col 3:2)  And fix your thoughts on JesusHeb 3:1--Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.

    Paul  in Phil 4:8 gives a guideline of what we are to do with our thoughts, and how we are to apply them to our lives, causing results--positive results--that the Lord can and will use.  “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.”  

I must take captive every though,t and then I will be free to serve God with all my heart and all my mind.  

portions of this were borrowed from a sermon by a Galilean preacher . : -)


Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Distractions from following through


I have determined that I will walk the path that God has set before me without murmuring and complaining about it. I will seek His direction in every area of my life, and do my very best to follow His leading. I set a goal this week of spend my first and last hour of the day in prayer and seeking His divine direction of my life.
Why is it, that it seems like the more you try to follow what God has told you to do, the more distractions come, even more discouragements and un-mentionable temptations.

I know what I am called to do, and I also know (for the most part) what I am not to do.
I find that the enemy uses every tactic possible to catch me off guard. I oversleep, when I intended to spend that first hour in prayer in the morning. So I quickly re-arrange my schedule and plan to have my prayer hour during lunch break. So out of the blue, someone shows up to take me to lunch, or an unexpected meeting is called.
Not a Problem, I have no plans for tonight, so I will spend my 2 hours this evening, and everything will be fine. So I thought!
I go out to the car to find a flat tire, so I change it in the pouring down rain and head home. As I drive home i realize all the stop lights are out. Strange! I arrive home safely, excited to get out of my wet clothes and have a hot cup of tea. The elevator is out so I have to walk up 16 flights of stairs. Not an easy thing for a youngster who is fit. For me almost impossible, but I made it safely to my apartment and find the electricity is out and has been for several hours. Cold, wet and frustrated, I crawl into bed.  I am too tired, too upset to make any attempt at prayer. I’ll try again tomorrow.
Tomorrow is another day, I will start over, but the discouragement and sense of failure is almost over-whelming. Can’t I keep my promise to God just once?

I remember the verse in I Peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

I will not let him win this battle. I will fight to do what I know God has called me to do. 
The enemy will do anything within his power to stop us from praying. Why? Because God hears and answers our prayers.
If you are not under attack from the enemy, if you don't find that he is interfering in your plans. Maybe, you need to review your plans and see if they are the plans that God has for your life. The enemy won't waste time on something that is not a threat to him. 

Remember the battle is already won. The victory is ours through Jesus Christ our Lord. 

So...
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever.He remembered us in our low estate, His love endures forever. 
and freed us from our enemies. His love endures forever. 
Psalms 136:1, 23-24

Monday, November 28, 2011

I Knew you before....

 

Today I am reading in the book of Jeremiah and it is so full of truths that so often go unnoticed.
 Chapter 1 is full of amazing truths.
V5 God knew us before we were born and the plans for our life were already determined. Wow!
V6. God said don't say I am only ___. I will tell you where to go , what to say, don't be afraid of a soul. I will put the words in your mouth. This is encouraging to me, because I ám not comfortable speaking in public. Fearful of messing up, but God will give the words!! So awesome.
V18-19 You're a one-man defense system against this culture (The Message)
How many times have we said, I am just one person, I can't make a difference. God says we can, So let's stand up and make a difference in our world.
We know who we believe in, so shine the light for all to see. He will give us the words, when we are asked the reason for the faith that is within us!
It is amazing what God can and will do when we surrender our will to HIM and allow Him to direct our paths.


Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

Another year and we have so very much to be thankful for.

With the busyness and hassles of everyday life, it is so easy to get caught up in the mode of complaining and discontentment.
Several years ago, when I was very sick and wasn't expected to survive, my husband had cancer and was on chemo, my kids were going through a very rough time, and our business was on the verge of bankruptcy.
God gave me this verse 
Thessalonians 5:18.
God tells us "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."1  I find this a very hard thing to do, but with a determined attitude, and deliberate actions, I have found that I have greatly improved over the years. 


I actually got angry at Him, complained more and it took me a couple of days to see what He was saying. 
I deliberately sat down and started writing out a list of all the things that I am thankful for. The joy started overflowing as I wrote the list. I had pages upon pages before I was through. 


Are you discontented, try this exercise- it works
In the end I made a poster of it and it hangs in my bedroom today as a reminder of His love for me.


I thankful heart, is a happy heart


I am thankful for... my salvation, his shed blood, forgiveness, redemption, my family, friends, my church, the air I breathe, the morning sunrise, the evening sunset, rainbows, the ever-lasting bouquet of flowers each spring, the songs of the birds, and so much more....


Forever grateful,


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I willingly surrender to you, my God.

I willingly surrender to you, my God.


I completely yield to you, without reserve, my Abba Father; all power, control and every single possession that I have, whether it be material or emotional.


I give myself completely to your service, to use in each and every way you that you see fit. I relinquish any and all rights or privileges that I may have previously enjoyed. Today, as an act of my will, I chose to give myself up fully and completely to the maker of my soul.


I empty myself of all my longings and desires, except the deepest desire of my soul, which is the longing to bring glory and honour to your Holy Name.
Melt me, my Lord, in the flaming fire of the crucible; mold me, into the vessel that holds the very sweetest and costly fragrance of your precious love.
One that is easily broken and spilled out, without even a hint of resistance, at the mere whisper of your voice.


Use me, to direct all of the honour and glory to your name. The only name, that stands above all names.  That every knee will bow and every tongue confess, that you alone are Lord of all creation.


I humbly walk into your camp waving the white flag of surrender and fall to my face bowing before you, the King of all Kings. My master, my redeemer and my Lord.


I surrender all to you!


Accept my life, my heart, my sacrifice as I pour it out in surrender before my Holy God!


You adopted and forgiven,


Servant Child.

What am I willing to surrender

I have been sitting here today, pondering what I learned at small group last night. 
We were studying from 1 Samuel chapter 15 when God sent Samuel to anoint Saul as king and give him instructions to kill everyone and everything. 
Saul completed most of what God had instructed, but took it upon himself to hold back just a bit for himself. A prize, so to speak. God considered Saul's 99% obedience as complete rebellion. Saul thought he did pretty good?


I find that I am very much like Saul. 
I say the right things, I mostly do the right things, but I stop short of completing what God instructed me to do. I rationalize, I question, and sometimes I just decide to disobey, because I don't agree with what God said.  There is no other way to put it other than I am a rebellious child when I respond that way. God forgive me!! I want so much to be completely sold out and surrendered to my Lord. I fail constantly, but by His grace and mercy I get back on my feet and bow in repentance. 


As stated in Deuteronomy 5:29
The Message (MSG)

 God heard what you said to me and told me, "I've heard what the people said to you. They're right—good and true words. What I wouldn't give if they'd always feel this way, continuing to revere me and always keep all my commands; they'd have a good life forever, they and their children!


It is a daily struggle, don't quit, don't give in. He is there with arms outstretched waiting for us to come back. He loves us like non other can. 


I surrender all, I surrender all, all for Jesus I surrender all!

Why the Rush!


Why the Rush?
I awoke to the sound of the alarm blasting and jumped up, to ready myself for the day. No time for breakfast again, because I am running late. So I pull through the drive through at Tim Horton’s, already feeling frustrated because the line is moving so slow and I have so much to accomplish in a mere 24 hour day. As I pull into work, my Blackberry is going off like crazy, reminding me of appointments for the day. I walk in the office, to hear the phone already ringing with 20 plus messages, waiting to be answered.
I take a deep breathe and cry out loud, why can’t I just have one moment of peace!  
The thought quickly comes to my mind ‘Did you forget something today’.
I try to brush the though aside, already bombarded by the things that are setting in front of me, demanding my immediate attention.
The thought comes again, stronger.
I can’t seem to get it to stop.
What did I forget? I don’t have time for this, what is it?
Then it is as if I can hear His voice, you have forgotten me!
I have forgotten the one that means the most to me, my Lord.
I didn’t greet him when I opened my eyes.
I didn’t ask his direction, guidance and discernment in planning my day.
 He is the only one that can make a difference in how my day goes, and I failed to stop for just a moment and allow His peace to settle me.
Why the rush? What on this earth is more important than Him?
Stop, Look, Listen! He is there with arms outstretched waiting for us to come to Him.
He has the answer to today’s problems before they arise. We must only ask and then listen for the answer.

Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything."
Psalm 46:10   The Message

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7  (NLT)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Welcome to a journey of surrender

Welcome to my new blog.

This is a blog of a journey to walk in the ways of the Lord. My desire is absolute surrender to my Lord. I realize the fight is on. And there is no doubt that I will fall from time to time. But by His grace and strength, I will get back up and win the race.

Today, I have realized that I am at a crossroad in my life and must make a decision. I can no longer go straight (the way I was going). I must make a decision to go all the way for God, leaving everything at His feet, or turn around and walk away from it all.

God will not tolerate complacency. He wants all of us.
We serve a jealous God as stated in Deut 5:8 "I am God, your God, and I'm a most jealous God. I hold parents responsible for any sins they pass on to their children to the third, and yes, even to the fourth generation. But I'm lovingly loyal to the thousands who love me and keep my commandments."

Join me in this journey. I challenge you to commit yourself to God, delight yourself in Him and He will give you the desires of your heart